How Well do you Generate Positive Emotions in Others?

Jo Bishop Reviews Challenge 1 and Launches Challenge 2

Reviewing Challenge 1: sharing positive experiences and news with clients, customers & stakeholders (#sharepositiveexperiences):

This has been a good challenge for me. I’d like to think I do this kind of thing all the time, but the truth is I’ve learnt that I can do better. As Oprah says (on behalf of Maya Angelou), ‘when you know better, you do better’.

I’ve shared what I’ve done below. And I can say that it feels good to do this. It’s also startling how surprised others can be that you have something good to say. And only something good to say.

In each of these cases I went out of my way to let the person know how they had positively impacted others and me. When I did this people usually reacted as if they’d been given a surprise present! Our research at iOpener Institute tells us that feeling bursts of positive emotion positively impacts our longer term commitment at work.

When I work with leaders, helping them to help others to give their best at work, we encourage this practice. We also encourage developmental conversations about things that maybe haven’t gone to plan. Crucially, these are not at the same time!  People can ‘hear’ and be open to the development, when it’s delivered in the broader context of having the positives recognised. For some people this needs to be a ratio of 3:1. *

So I’ve been experiencing benefits all round.  I’d love to hear how you are getting on, and I’m adding a few questions for self-reflection and discussion.

Questions to ponder when generating positive emotions in others;

• What lasting impression might you have of someone who shared your positive impact with you in this way?
• How might it influence others perception of you?
• What difference might it might make to you family, team, and organisation?

Summary of what I’ve done to get on with sharing positive experiences and news with clients, customers & stakeholders;

• A colleague demonstrated exceptional insight into a situation and I shared how I was proud to be with her in the meeting.
• A family member faced up to a difficult situation that was affecting their confidence, I let them know this was something they should be proud of.
• I let a colleague know how their management of a situation helped me to do my job better, which helped our client.
• I shared with my son how his behaviour had positively impacted some friends we had to visit.

Easy things you could do;

• Drop by someone’s desk and thank them for their effort/help
• Call a client and say how much you enjoyed working with them

Launching Challenge 2: link evidence of efficacy and efficiency to pride in achievements 

Challenge 2: We ask you to link evidence of efficacy and efficiency to pride in achievements. 

Tweet @iOpenerIPP with your experiences and don’t forget to #prideinachievements. 

How is this different from Challenge 1?

For me, this is a more focused approach.  Helping others see specifically how their personal effectiveness and efficiency has made a positive difference.

So, if Challenge 1 was about sharing good news and experiences, Challenge 2 is about crystallising the information. It’s harder to do, and makes you look harder, and think harder.

By that I mean it’s easy to find evidence of inefficiency, especially when people have let us down before. The research of Chris Argyris backs this up. His ladder of inference neatly explains how we select data to confirm our assumptions and beliefs about a situation.

If you are in this loop with another person you’ll probably know because they are constantly irritating you in some way. Challenge 2 forces you to look for new data, new positive data. And to then share the information with the other person as something to take pride in.

This is brilliant when helping people to give their best. A much quoted and debated number is that people need a ratio of around 3:1* positive to developmental information to help them flourish. And clearly we do all need to hear the developmental. It’s how we grow. It’s just worth remembering we need it the context of our complete performance. And we need it delivered in a way it can be heard. But that’s for another blog.

How to do it:

• Look for something that someone did especially well that led to a positive outcome
• What efficiency have you seen from a colleague, friend, or boss that you could tell them about?
• Practice focusing on other people more than yourself for a while, notice what others do well

The third bullet is a way of applying the wonderful Barbara Fredrickson’s work which says that increased focus on others rather than self leads to more connectivity, positivity and engagement. Now that’s definition of a win win!

Let me know how you get on! I’ll be back on the 1st of June to Review Challenge 2 and Launch Challenge 3…

*Losada & Heaphy

Jo Bishop

Photo Credit: rafiq s via Visual hunt / CC BY-ND