Debussy said that “music is the space between the notes”. Similarly in coaching, the real work gets done in the space between the coach-client meetings.
Why is this? Following the musical analogy, it’s because a coaching session is the preparation, the practice and rehearsal. What follows, back in the workplace, is the performance. That’s the test of what has been learnt.
When we coach, we help the client put in place what they need for performance, particularly when under pressure. New behaviors and skills are explored, honed and embedded. Notice that this is not just about knowing: it’s about doing and preparing to do. It’s about trying things in a safe, unpressurized environment, taking one step at a time, breaking down complex things into bite-sized chunks and getting feedback and observations from the coach. And the result of all this is that the skills and behaviors are more likely to be available to the client when they need them.
We notice that the clients who get the most out of coaching share some important characteristics. They commit to the process because they have an operational need to raise their game in some area. Or, because of what they want to become, they have a strong desire. So they also have clarity. And they bring the courage to experiment, to try new things, recognizing that brings a risk and initially they may not succeed 100%. Commitment, clarity and courage: a powerful combination that gives impetus to their new skills and means they use the space between meetings well.
When the performance has happened, like a musician with their teacher, the client and coach ‘read’ the reviews. How did it go? What about that tricky passage that we’ve worked so hard on? How were your nerves? Did you use the adrenalin positively? What were you pleased with? What might need more work?
In this review, the coach has a crucial role. Every musician hears every bad note they play many times louder than all their elegant passages. Never mind that the other musicians don’t notice (because they are similarly focused on their own performance.) And never mind that the audience is there to enjoy the totality, the performance, the impact rather than its perfect correctness. Musicians sometimes need help to truly hear what they play.
So the coach helps bring perspective. They help the client savour the successes and improve where need be. That’s good for confidence, and it repays commitment and courage.
Performance is rarely perfect. Failure can be the price of trying. So as someone learns a new skill or behavior, effort should be recognized and valued. The only sin is not to try, not to fully commit to the performance.
And once the review is done, there’s more focused practice and new plans to agree. So the client has a stronger platform for the next performance, for ‘making great music’ at work, for the return to the space between the notes.
You can find more of Stephen’s great coaching blogs here.